“Dude!” by Jeff Chernesky
Act 5, Scene 1
A pestilence on him for a mad rogue! a’ poured a
flagon of Rhenish on my head once. This same skull,
sir, was Yorick’s skull, the king’s jester.
Let me see.
Takes the skull
Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he hath
borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how
abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
it. Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know
not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?
Now get you to my lady’s chamber, and tell her, let
her paint an inch thick, to this favour she must
come; make her laugh at that. Prithee, Horatio, tell
me one thing.
What’s that, my lord?
Dost thou think Alexander looked o’ this fashion i’
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Last week I wrote about the strange weather days and meeting up with an upright vacuum at the school bus stop.
This week is astoundingly different. The weather’s moved from brutally warm to what feels like April as I remember it in childhood—carrying summer’s urgent promises and winter’s dying whispers from breeze to breeze—like some mysterious changeling.
The vacuum’s gone as well.
I’ve wondered where it ended up. On some cross-country bus ride bearing stardust dreams of Hollywood in its lint collector? Or perhaps recuperating peacefully in a handyman’s workshop, awaiting repair and resale.
And while that upright vacuum, which I nicknamed Horatio, would be classified among the “Non-Living” in this chart, who’s to say what kind of life as we know it some writer couldn’t pump into its hose and wiring if so inclined?
For there truly are “more things in heaven and earth“ than are dreamt of in anyone’s philosophy—and by that I do not mean the company that sells bath, body, and skincare products. I mean the contents of this classification chart, and finding out how and why we fit into it.
This post is dedicated to my dad, Neil, the Vacuum King,
who’s favorite cause has always been “Save a Rug.”
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